RAILA ODINGA given the last warning and told to shut up over UHURU/ RUTO’s ICC cases

Former Prime Minister, Raila Odinga, has been warned to stop commenting about the cases facing President Uhuru Kenyatta and his Deputy, William Ruto, at the International Criminal Court (ICC).

Speaking yesterday at Moiben, Deputy President William Ruto’s URP legislators, led by Kericho Senator, Charles Keter, said it was former Prime Minister Raila Odinga who fixed Uhuru/ Ruto at The Hague and that he should stop shedding crocodile tears purporting to call on the ICC to terminate their cases swiftly.

“Why is Raila Odinga shedding crocodile tears calling on the ICC to terminate Uhuru/Ruto’s cases? Is he not the one who fixed them?” wondered Keter.

“We want to tell him that we don’t need his help to end Uhuru/ Ruto’s cases. In fact, he should shut up and stop commenting the cases,” he added.

Upon his return from the US and
Mozambique recently, Raila Odinga called on the ICC to terminate Uhuru/ Ruto’s cases swiftly saying the ICC cases do not benefit the Opposition in any way contrary to allegations by Jubilee that he’s using The Hague-based court to ascend to power through the backdoor.

‘SomeoneTellMutua’ – Gor Mahia Fans Reply To Mutua after Sh10 Million Demand

In this day and age, every action has a social media over-reaction.

After Machakos governor, Dr. Alfred Mutua banned Gor Mahia fans from setting foot in his county, opinions have flooded the internet.

Gor’s fans feel that the governor has overstepped his mandate and
should not have gagged their movement into the upcoming city.

Here is the social media court that had summoned Dr. Alfred Mutua with hilarious tweets

In the spirit of banning ppl and expelling others (btw someone tell Mutua being Governor has its limits, as for… http://t.co PPtVV8TO2V
— Mc'olonde Charles (@mcolonde)
October 27, 2014

# SomeoneTellMutua -Gor Mahia Fc owes KRA over 100 million and they have never recovered even a single coin, what is 10 million?
— Smokes (@gerison_okoth) October 28, 2014

#SomeoneTellMutua -Raila will pay 7 million and Lupita will clear the balance #Machakos Stadium si ya Mama ya mtu...#SomeoneTellMutua
— Monte-Maurice (@MonteMaurice) October 28, 2014

ehh RT @KevinObura : Ouch #SSKPL RT @RobertAlai : Mutua wants 10m from Gor Mahia to return money defrauded from the county. #SomeoneTellMutua
— YeZZar!! (@mohray_) October 28, 2014

#SomeoneTellMutua -Gor Mahia has banned him from watching our matches even on Tv.
— Am The BOSS (@Collobrown25)
October 28, 2014

#SomeoneTellMutua gor mahia is not just a club gor is a government …what is 10 million…
— Gaitano Don (@GaitanoDon) October 28, 2014

This ~=====> #SomeOneTellMutua GOR MAHIA is bigger than Machakos county,If he wants 10million he should join pesa mashinani or Okoa Kenya.
— Luoism (@TimbeLuo) October 28, 2014

#SomeoneTellMutua that Gor mahia has banned Machakos stadium from hosting their matches!
— Syl Dave Otieno (@MCee_Dave) October
28, 2014

2 Different Portraits of Uhuru… Who Nailed It?

24 year old Collins Okello has received quite the recognition for his portrait of President Uhuru in full military uniform.

He posted photos of the pencil art work on social media last week and is now on his way to State House to meet the Commander in Chief.

After that portrait went viral, I
remembered it’s not.
It’s credited to a guy by the name Ferguson.

So between Collins and Ferguson, who nailed
it?

The Evolution of Dating in Kenya 1960 – 2014 (Hilarious)

Over the years, dating has evolved in a big way in Africa. I’m sure we’ve all heard stories from our parents or grandparents on how they landed the catch.

This hilarious cartoon perfectly describes that evolution.

20 Undeniable Traits of a True Kenyan

1. Goes to a restaurant and orders ‘nipee/leta kama ya uleee’

2. They are always dissing other cars, especially ka Vitz but does not even own a bicycle.

3. Every strike has to have the song
“Mapambano mapambano”, and the “Haki yetu” slogan.

4. They say 207 when they mean 2007

5. They point at stuff with their lips…sijasema Mwende!

6. laughs at a ProBox owner from inside a Tuk Tuk.

7. Reads your newspaper with you in the Matatu and gets angry when you flip over the page.

8. Goes to study in India, returns with an American accent…yu kna wha am sayin?

9. You invite them home for a birthday party.and they come empty-handed and hungry.

10. Borrows your pen and never returns, and if they do return, kifuniko imetafunwa!.

11. Refers to all brands of detergent as Omo.

12. Refers to a Toyota Hiace as a Nissan.

13. When rela’s come visiting and they expect you give them fare back home.

14. When surprised their first word is “Ngai!”

15. Introduces himself/herself by saying “My names are”

16. Puts Avocado in all types of food even crisps SMH.

17. They fear meeting a police at night than a robber!

18. Buys mineral water once and re-uses the bottle with tap water for 2 months.

19. When driving ataweka mkono ya left juu ya gear, na gari ni Automatic.

20. Create 6-8 lanes on a two lane road…and COMPLAIN of traffic!

Is RAILA ODINGA a master of double speak? Currently conducting a harambee in Kisii

Last week former Prime Minister, Raila Odinga, called on Uhuru/ Ruto to ban harambees because the Jubilee Government is using them to bribe citizens, who support his referendum push.

When calling for the ban on Harambees, Raila said the Jubilee Government should instead increase money to the Counties to help citizens in development across the country.

But one week later after calling for this, the former PM is conducting a harambee in aid of the Lutheran Church in Bobasi constituency in Gusii land.

Raila, who is accompanied by Kisii Governor, James Ongwae, is presiding over the harambee despite calling Deputy President, William Ruto, to stop fund raisers arguing that he is using them to enrich himself.

This also comes at a time the Ethics and Anti Corruption Commission (EACC) has raised a red flag over how politicians and state officers are misusing public funds through harambees.

Is Raila among politicians who preach water and drink wine or is he a master of double speak?

President Uhuru Kenyatta blasts CORD over land claims, Ruto demands apology

Kilifi, Kenya: President Uhuru Kenyatta revisited the ongoing debate on recent land scandals, accusing the Opposition of trying to tarnish his government as his deputy William.Ruto threatened legal action.

The President said Coalition for Reforms and Democracy (CORD) leaders are out to gain popularity by raising unwarranted issues and
are applying divisive politics to remain relevant instead of preaching peace and unity.

Uhuru spoke as his Deputy William Ruto demanded retraction of ‘malicious’ statements that CORD leaders have been issuing linking
him to the Karen land saga in Nairobi or else they meet him in court.

The DP singled out Cord leaders.Johnstone Muthama, Elizabeth Ongoro, James Orengo, UDF Senator Boni Khalwale and MP Junet Mohamed.

While addressing a crowd at Karisa Grounds in Kilifi, Uhuru said CORD leadership could not appreciate anything good done by his government but keeps on accusing it to gain political mileage.

“There are some leaders in this country who will never praise my government for the good things but will keep on blasting it so that they can get sympathy from Kenyans,” he said.

On Wednesday, during a press conference after his return from a trip abroad, former Prime Minister Raila Odinga, criticised the Jubilee
government on a number of issues, and called for mixed presidential and parliamentary system of government. But Friday, the President said his government is committed to addressing the squatter problem at the Coast and other regions and told Cord leaders not to interfere with the
process. Uhuru had visited Kenya Medical Research Institute in Kilifi where he officially opened a research training facility before
joining the staff to celebrate their 25th year anniversary.

Ruto, through his lawyer, Kioko Kilukumi and Company Advocates, said those who mentioned him adversely in the 135 acres Karen land saga must apologise. The Opposition claimed that senior officials in the Jubilee government are beneficiaries of the land saga.
Personal gain But in letters sent to each leader, dated October 23, 2014; Ruto distances himself from
the scandal and is demanding an apology from his accusers in the next seven days. Failure to which he will sue them for damages. Says the letter; “Our client’s attention has been drawn to a press statement you signed and issued on October 16, 2014.”

The statement by CORD stated that “high ranking personalities in the Jubilee Administration” have grabbed a parcel of land situated in Karen, Nairobi. It stated that the
land in question is public land irregularly allocated further asserting that ‘Kenyans have watched helplessly as the tyranny of numbers pillaged public resources and abused power for
personal gain under the superintendence of President Uhuru Kenyatta and his deputy
William Ruto’.

Ruto’s lawyer stated: “Our instructions are that the contents of the statement are false, untrue
and malicious. The contents of the statement are factually incorrect. Our client neither owns a single inch of the land in question nor is he involved in any matter whatsoever with the disputed parcel of land.”

“It is our instruction that the substance and purport of the statement was calculated and designed to be understood by members of the public that our client was a land grabber, corrupt and an individual with an insatiable appetite for public land which drives him to abuse state power for personal gain. We
reiterate therefore that the contents of the statement were extremely malicious, defamatory and intended to soil, tarnish and
malign our client’s standing and reputation as Deputy President,” said the lawyer.

He argues that as a result of publication and broadcast of the statement, their client, Ruto, has been greatly injured in his credit, status and reputation, as well as exposed to hatred, ridicule contempt, humiliation and agony.
But Suna East MP Junet Mohamed remains defiant despite the threat of legal action: “I will not issue any apology because there is no need
for one. Let us meet in court.”

A section of Cord leaders was expected to appear before the Ethics and Anti Corruption
Commission (EACC) this week to give evidence they say will back their claims on the alleged
beneficiaries of the Karen land. They however failed to show up as earlier anticipated. President Uhuru has warned leaders against
making unsubstantiated claims on the matter.

Speaking in Kilifi Friday, Uhuru who was accompanied by the Cabinet Secretary for Health James Macharia said elected leaders
need to work together and foster development.

WHEN CANING IS NECCESARRY

I take this earliest opportunity to send my condolences and messages of good will to former Première as he recuperates from Monday’s caning. It was painful, barbaric, embarrassing and awful. I have watched that clip again and again, torn between laughing and feeling bad. The mzee snaked his way in the crowd like a U.S SEAL connoisseur unnoticed. He then repositioned himself two feet from Agwambo, scanned the environment and then professionally chose the yummiest part to hit. Tinga was all this time swallowed in sweet hip shakings and dance with the Mzee’s wife to notice the looming lynching.
Like a skilled Moran, the Mzee bit his lower lip, raised the 5 kg bakora 8 Kilometers high and then descended it at a speed of 65 Km/hr. It landed on R.A.O’s bend back with a thud. Mheashimiwa suppressed a scream and jumped up akisugua the dented area.
Meanwhile Governor Mvurya was also receiving his dosage of ‘tatu bora’ from the kamzee.
As expected, Jubilee supporters were celebrating all over. They tossed chang’aa tins and send each other congratulatory messages. They even recommended Mzee Mudzomba be added to the list of MauMau fighters. Others baptized him the government chief whip. CORD supporters on the other hand went underground as soon as the bamboo cane landed, and I haven’t heard from any of them. The few who have talked have condemned the act, calling it jubilee orchestrated and a signal that RAO is not safe.

Sisemi kitu.

I must confess however, I have been tempted to think this mzee who caned Agwambo is the one who wrote “Fimbo Chapa” lyrics to DNA. Remember that the National Anthem was written by another mzee from the same village (just guessing) The unanswered question however is, why did Mzee Mudzomba cane R.A.O?

I have my opinion.

The first an obvious one is the story about the wife. Let’s us assume the man is insecure, over protective and with ego. He couldn’t stand the sight of his wife shaking her butt so willingly to another man. He feared RAO and Mvurya will chapa the wife with their ’fimbo’. He had to tell them to
keep their “Fimbos” away from his wife. The best way to do it was to hit them with a 'Fimbo’. A bakora on Agwambo’s back was better than Agwambo’s ‘bakora’ in her wife.
I also again want to think that he didn’t actually cane RAO. He didn’t intend to either. He was just dancing and waving his fimbo in
the air when he tripped due to old age and fell, unfortunately on Raila’s back. It was just
a slight accident, where nobody was hurt.
The government, media and enemies of development as expected anyway exaggerated it, making it appear as if Raila was caned, beaten, thrashed and trodden like a Burukenge. Msheew!

The other close reason may be to do with the Referendum campaign. The signatures were being collected and mzee wanted to sign. I think he confused where the signatures were to be put, and he thought it was on Raila’s back. I don’t know why he thought thrashing Raila was equivalent to signing on the referendum, maybe confusion of old age sgain. Or maybe he wanted to just tap Raila on the back and request the Signature paper to sign. The tapping turned out to be a bit painfull. Maybe. Anyway come Mzee’s canes come Duale’s
insults, referendum Lazima.

Wiz Khalifa Compares Miley’s Smoking Habit To A “Blowing Train”

Hannah Montana’s princess is lost! completely lost and if you think am just judging ask Wiz Khalifa. Anyway Wiz khalifa is working on a new interview with Miley. The two are supposed to work together on a single which will be featured on Wiz Khalifa’s new album Black Hollywood.

On an interview with Arsenio Hall on Monday night Wiz Khalifa compared Mileys smoking habit to a “blowing train”. He also said that working with her is fun because she is full of energy. When he was asked how he finds her, Khalifa said, .“Insane! But in a good way though. Like, she’s just a ball of energy, you know what I mean? And she smokes a ton“ Asked in more detail about Cyrus’s smoking habit, he said: “She’s younger so it’s different. Every five minutes she kept being like, ‘Wiz, you don’t have a joint rolled? What’s up?”Right, and she’s just blowin’ like a train,” Khalifa said.



It’s no secret that Miley loves smoking weed plus she also confessed “Weed is the best drug on earth”. I sincerely don’t know what went on, to change this Hannah Montana princess, but all I know is that she is not the same. Although wiz also loves smoking joints it’s clear to see that Miley is on the loose, plus that is the main reason he wants to work with her. I will not be surprised if the two release a single about weed either.

5 Things Men Are Allowed To Lie About To Their Women

Men are open like books and you can be able to read their true feelings without having to ask much. Anyway being a man am sure there are things you know your woman will definitely react to if you mention. It’s advisable to tame your tongue to avoid unnecessary arguments. So below are some things you should avoid telling your woman or best just lie because the truth will get you into issues.  

How much he love his mother:
Okay she already knows you love your family but if you keep rubbing it on her face how much you love your mum, your mum might start being a threat to her. It’s good to moderate how much you talk about her because it also paints you as a mama boy!

What His family Thinks of her:
If she has already met your family, but they don’t like her for you, it’s best to lie to her because she would feel offended if she knew the truth. So if you love her it’s ‘best to keep that away from her before

How Much he spent On Your Car/Stereo/gadget:
If you are spending a lot of money on your gadgets… lie if she asks how much you got them for. Because if the two of you are sharing an account she might think that you are a spend thrift and wouldn’t want to trust you with her money.

How Much You knew your ex:
There is a reason why the girl you dated the girl before her is called an ex, so it’s better not to talk about your ex. If a conversation about her comes up find a way to escape the vibe and if your girl wants to know how much you knew your ex, lie or avoid the question.

What You think of her family:
If her family irritates you because they like asking too much questions, don’t mention it straight to her face. You can try to hide it from her and even just try to get along with them, but you telling her that you don’t like her parents would be like disqualifying yourself from a race.